My forthcoming book:
About
The author:
Born in Munich in 1956, I began my spiritual journey early, traveling overland to India in 1977, where I met the mystic Osho. Over the following decades, I lived and worked in several Rajneesh Neo-Sannyas communes — including in Pune and Rajneeshpuram — before leaving the movement in the early 1990s. My later spiritual inquiries led me to study with Advaita teacher H.W.L. Poonja in Lucknow.
Alongside my spiritual explorations, I worked in Germany as a DJ and IT consultant, and since 2008 have curated the website www.planetoflove.net, dedicated to spiritual inquiry, music, and meditation. From 2010 to 2020, I organized public chanting and meditation events to foster shared inner experience.
Since 2015, I have focused on writing and researching Much Ado About Nothing, integrating a lifetime of experience across spiritual traditions with critical insight into communal life and the evolving search for non-dual understanding.
The book:
Structured in concise and contemplative chapters, the book is both poetic and rigorous. It integrates the meditative insights of Advaita Vedanta and a critical yet compassionate exploration of the Rajneesh movement from the perspective of numerous insiders. Through personal encounters, historical vignettes, and careful deconstruction of spiritual narratives, Much Ado About Nothing seeks to illuminate the search for nothingness that underlies even the most controversial spiritual experiments.
Synopsis
Part One – Non-Duality and Evolution
Chapter 1: The Nothing That Is and Is Not
This chapter introduces the essence of non-duality through lived experience and traditional metaphors. The author recounts a profound realization under the guidance of HWL Poonja (Papaji), illustrating the difference between intellectual understanding and direct seeing. The gold-ring, snake-rope, and wave-ocean analogies from Advaita are explored as tools pointing toward the timeless truth that behind all appearances lies nothing—formless, nameless, and ever-present.
Chapter 2: Much Ado – The Manifest Dance of Evolution
The perspective shifts from the formless to the world of phenomena. This chapter explores how the evolutionary process gives rise to something out of nothing—the emergence of violence, manipulation, and intention. It discusses the importance of the brain as the major tool for refinement, the development of the Abrahamic and the Non-dual matrices, and how these matrices developed separately in different areas of the globe. Finally, we take a look at love and compassion as a result of the refinement of the evolutionary process.
Chapter 3: Comparing the Non-dual and Evolutionary Approaches
The two core paradigms—evolutionary and non-dual—are compared by example through the classical epics Ramayana and the Iliad. Where the evolutionary model emphasizes development, improvement, and progress through time, the non-dual view does that too, but points toward the timeless as well. The author explores how these two lenses generate fundamentally different narratives about life, truth, and purpose.
Chapter 4: The Flow of Wisdom from the East to the West
This chapter traces how non-dual insights from Eastern traditions entered Western consciousness in the 19th and 20th centuries. The roles of Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta Maharaj, J. Krishnamurti, and others are explored, as well as the transformations and misinterpretations that occurred when Eastern mysticism met Western psychology and counterculture.
Chapter 5: Moksha
A focused exploration of the Indian concept of moksha (liberation). The chapter contrasts moksha with Western notions of salvation, framing it not as an afterlife reward, but as an annihilation of all concepts. Liberation is not something to attain, but a recognition of what is always already the case.
Chapter 6: The Guru
The concept of the guru is introduced by Nagarjuna, a Buddhist master, as emptiness with a heart of compassion. The guru is both archetype and reality—an embodied paradox who serves to disrupt identity and catalyze awakening. The guru is portrayed as a trickster and as an advisor. Moksha can only be transmitted, not taught.
Chapter 7: Master and Disciple
The chapter opens with a quote by Tibetan master Milarepa and dives into the psycho-spiritual dynamics between teacher and student. Drawing from various quotations, the chapter examines how the guru’s work starts by creating an illusion for the disciple which however has to be transcended at some point. We address the possibility of misunderstandings and how Huang Po, Ramana Maharshi, and Jaggi Vasudev are guiding the disciple beyond these misunderstandings. The analogy of the master as a finger pointing to the moon. The core concepts of the master disciple relationship are in many ways diametrically opposite to contemporary western ethics.
Chapter 8: Samaya and Yidam
Introduces key tantric concepts such as samaya (sacred vow between disciple and guru) and yidam (meditative deity or inner guide). The chapter explores how these metaphors support the inner journey—but also how confusion arises when they are misunderstood. We explore how different cultures and traditions both agree and diverge in dealing with dharmic dilemmas and suggesting solutions.
Chapter 9: How to Distinguish Between a Real and a Fake Guru
A critical yet compassionate discussion on authenticity in spiritual leadership. The chapter argues that there is no objective test of a guru’s “realness.” Instead, seekers must evaluate teachers based on resonance, transformation, and personal insight. Case studies include public figures like Osho and Mooji, with commentary on projection, disillusionment, and inner discernment.
Chapter 10: Organization in Spiritual Movements
This chapter examines how spiritual teachings often become formalized into organizations, and how those organizations may serve or hinder awakening. The tension between Krishnamurti’s anti-organization stance and Osho’s embrace of large-scale communal structures is analyzed in light of the non-dual perspective.
Chapter 11: Awakening and Personality
Challenges the common belief that enlightenment results in moral purity or uniformly kind behavior. Drawing from psychological studies and spiritual biography, the chapter shows that realization does not erase personality—and that even awakened beings may retain quirks, biases, or contradictions. Examples include Krishnamurti, Amma, and others.
Chapter 12: Choiceless Awareness
Introduces the key concept of choiceless awareness as taught by J. Krishnamurti, Ramana Maharshi, and others. Through historical anecdotes and personal stories (including guidance received from Ramana Maharshi by Papaji), the author illustrates how this quality of intuitive, non-reactive presence stands at the heart of real freedom—and how it transcends moral or conceptual frameworks.
Part Two – An Extraordinarily Ordinary Experiment
Chapter 13: Introduction to Osho and His Communes
This chapter sets the stage for Part Two by introducing Osho’s life and the three major communes he inspired. It highlights Osho’s enigmatic character, his consistent inconsistency, and his use of strategic contradictions both in speech and in communal leadership. The author outlines his personal involvement with Osho and frames the chapter as an attempt to offer new insights into the often-misunderstood history of Osho’s work.
Chapter 14: The Sixties
An exploration of Osho’s rise during the 1960s in India, focusing on his charisma, early supporters, and the strategies he used to reach a wider audience. Testimonies from early disciples paint a picture of his magnetic presence. The chapter discusses Osho’s early lectures, his use of language to attract people, how he carefully crafted his message within a context his listeners could easily relate to, and his conscious use of traditional concepts to make his message accessible. The author describes how a long-lasting competition between Osho and Mataji Shree Nirmala started in 1970.
Chapter 15: Mumbai Days
Covers Osho’s transition to Mumbai, the establishment of Rajneesh Neo Sannyas, and the first wave of Western disciples. The chapter delves into early meditations, recruitment strategies, and the beginning of Osho’s myth-building around his own past lives. It shows how Osho skillfully created powerful emotional bonds between himself and his disciples by weaving personal myths and group dynamics. It is also revealed that Osho was not celibate and enjoyed an active sex life.
Chapter 16: The Esoteric Hitler – A Closer Look at “I Am the Gate #8”
A critical examination of Osho’s controversial statements about Hitler and occultism. The chapter analyzes the historical inaccuracies, cultural context, and motivations behind Osho’s portrayal of Hitler as a failed esoteric experiment. It also investigates Osho’s personal background and India’s political climate to understand the nuances behind his comments.
Chapter 17: The Kailash Experiment
Osho, inspired by Gurdjieff’s earlier experiments, initiates the Kailash camp—an intensive psychological experiment at a remote farm in the heart of India—supposedly preparing the construction of a new commune, but clearly intended as an experiment to break down individual ego structures. Participants were subjected to systematic psychological pressure, contradictions, and intense group dynamics designed to stimulate surrender and transformation. Although Osho had announced great expectations, the outcomes were mixed and Osho remained vague about the results.
Chapter 18: Enchanted Rebels
This chapter places Osho’s early Western disciples within the broader context of the 1960s and 70s counterculture. Many young Westerners were seeking alternatives to traditional lifestyles through radical politics, therapy, drugs, or Eastern wisdom. Osho understood the unique readiness of these seekers and adapted his work accordingly—using various hypnotic techniques in his lectures. The chapter also describes the structure of the Poona One ashram and the powerful draw Osho exerted on a wide spectrum of individuals.
Chapter 19: Enter Swami Deva Ananya
In this personal and vivid account, the author narrates his initiation into Osho’s community. After a psychedelic experience in Goa that left him wounded and disillusioned, he and his girlfriend decide to visit the Pune ashram. The chapter captures the emotional vulnerability, the initial impressions of the ashram, and the transformative experience of taking sannyas, adopting the new name Swami Deva Ananya. Finally the author describes his first group experiences.
Chapter 20: A Spiritual Supermarket
This chapter critically analyzes the wide range of meditation techniques and therapy groups that were integrated into the Pune ashram’s offerings. Borrowing methods from the Human Potential Movement and various Eastern and Western traditions, Osho created a unique blend of practices. The chapter highlights how techniques like Dynamic Meditation, Kundalini, and group therapies were used, while also questioning the commercial and superficial aspects that arose within the “spiritual marketplace” atmosphere. When things went wrong, they were dealt with in a remarkable way.
Chapter 21: Behind the Scenes
This chapter explores how Osho managed his ashram behind the scenes beyond public discourses and darshans. He influenced events through private instructions given to secretaries and selected workers. Key figures such as Laxmi, Vivek, Deeksha, and others acted as intermediaries. Through firsthand accounts from ashram members like Hugh Milne and Ma Prem Samadhi, the chapter reveals how Osho deliberately created contradictions and confusion among his followers to catalyze inner growth. It also highlights how organizational decisions, such as group assignments, were not purely spiritual but often driven by practical needs. Several hidden incidents, such as Chinmaya’s orchestrated euthanasia and the staged elements of the 1980 knife attack, are described, revealing how myths were carefully constructed around Osho’s person and the events in the commune. Financial operations, private empires within the ashram, and the smuggling activities that supported commune projects are also examined.
Chapter 22: The Ashram Is Bursting
The immense growth of the Pune commune by 1980–81 led to overcrowding and increasing tensions with local authorities and residents. Makeshift settlements expanded around Koregaon Park, straining infrastructure and exacerbating legal and security problems. The ashram’s internal security system was upgraded, including the Krishna guards and Samurai bodyguards, with martial arts and weapons training becoming more common. Incidents of theft, molestation, violence, and mental breakdowns among seekers revealed the underbelly of the spiritual utopia. The chapter includes personal experiences as a Krishna guard and recounts specific events, such as the forced collection of debts and Sheela’s pragmatic use of force behind the public image of love and peace. Health concerns surrounding Osho’s vulnerability to infections triggered the restructuring of daily practices leading to Osho’s retreat into silence and the beginning of a new phase of the movement.
Chapter 23: Departure to America
This chapter traces the secret preparations and multiple motivations behind Osho’s sudden departure from India to the United States in 1981. Despite his earlier insistence on staying in India for its deep spiritual vibrations, mounting political pressures, tax disputes, overcrowding, and health issues forced a change. While Laxmi failed to secure land for the commune in India, Sheela, with her growing influence and ambitions, successfully pushed for a move to America, secretly preparing infrastructure at Chidvilas Center in New Jersey. Detailed testimonies show how Osho’s personal back pain and the search for medical treatment played a role in the decision. The chapter reveals that many early sannyasins were kept in the dark about the plan, and secrecy was maintained even among insiders. Personal accounts from Samadhi, Helen Byron, Hugh Milne, and others offer an intimate look at the disorienting and chaotic yet skillfully orchestrated transition, culminating in the acquisition of Kip’s Castle in New Jersey and setting the stage for a longer stay in the USA.
Chapter 24: Stopover in New Jersey and Finding the Ranch
This chapter recounts Osho’s secretive arrival in the United States and the temporary settlement in New Jersey. Eyewitnesses describe the beauty of being with the master very closely, but also the clandestine logistics and the challenges of finding a permanent location for the new commune. We learn about Osho’s unorthodox approach to driving in the USA, several people attempting to acquire land for the new commune, internal leadership struggles, and Osho’s surprising hands-on involvement in selecting his new leadership. With the acquisition of a huge ranch in Oregon a new headquarters and center of activities for the movement is found. Deeksha who had been one of the preeminent leaders in Pune resigns because she detests Osho’s new leadership style. Osho, however, stated multiple times that in some cases lies work better than the truth.
Chapter 25: A Worldwide Empire on the Rise
An account of the founding phase of Rajneeshpuram in Oregon. Early settlers worked under extreme conditions to build infrastructure on the ranch. Sheela and Savita gathered a strong mostly female leadership crew around themselves and find various experts to deal with the complex financial, legal and technical challenges. The chapter highlights the intense pioneer spirit, strategic legal constructions to evade U.S. labor and immigration laws, and the way the commune’s worldwide network of centers and businesses started channeling money to the ranch. But some trusted ashram workers of the old days became disillusioned and disappear.
Chapter 26: A Bombing, Wiretapping and Other Secret Activities
This chapter explores the escalation of clandestine and illegal activities within Rajneeshpuram, following an attempted bombing by a Muslim terrorist at the Rajneesh Hotel, Portland. This leads to widespread wiretapping, and surveillance operations. It presents detailed insider accounts about how espionage tactics were justified as defensive measures against various Christian fundamentalist groups. The dream of a utopian commune was increasingly undermined by fear and manipulation. Samadhi manages to enter the White House incognito, and finds out about top-level intentions for the removal new religious movements including the Rajneeshees. Osho is advised to steer the ship in calmer waters, but he opts for full confrontation.
Chapter 27: Osho, William James, and the Use of Nitrous Oxide
A critical look at Osho’s growing personal use of nitrous oxide and other substances during his silent period. The chapter describes Osho’s drastic change from rejecting drugs in the seventies to becoming a user in the 80s. It connects Osho’s self-experimentation with William James’s research on altered states of consciousness. It shows that Osho displayed certain psychopathic traits, which, however, were equally vital for many messianic figures. Sheela made sure that Osho’s practices were hidden from the wider sannyasin community and feared for the master’s health.
Chapter 28: The Internal Tensions Are Growing
As pressures mount from internal contradictions, tensions within the leadership and rank-and-file members intensify. The chapter traces the growing alienation between Sheela’s inner circle and the people around Osho. Sheela struggles to stay in control, questions some requests from the master and consequently loses control over some areas of responsibility, but generally Osho still backs her up while she starts to bug his room.
Chapter 29: The Sansads
This chapter introduces the Sansads—groups of people who either were or would soon become enlightened. Over a couple of weeks Osho nominates more than 300 sannyasins as members of these Sansads and creates enormous commotion within his communes. It’s another play of the trickster Osho to create distrust among his disciples and undermine their various expectations. In the years to come Osho takes turns in declaring the Sansads a big joke and reinstalling them as important institutions for his future work.
Chapter 30: The Frozen Few
This chapter describes how Osho starts talking to public audiences again in late 1984. The differences between his talking style in Pune and in Oregon are analyzed. Especially his personal stories are taking much more space. With rising inner and outer tensions he continues these talks until April 1985 when he catches an ear infection.
Chapter 31: My Life in the Commune before Autumn 1985
This chapter describes the author’s last months in the Berlin Rajneesh commune, where strange regulations and mismanagement create growing disillusionment. In early 1985, he moves to Rajneeshpuram, joining the RHT program and working in the electronics department. Life on the Ranch is marked by secrecy, HIV regulations, and a growing sense of impending collapse. Despite minor highlights like working at the summer festival and assisting musicians during discourses, a general feeling of exhaustion and helplessness pervades the commune.
Chapter 32: The Helen Byron Case and its Consequences
This chapter recounts how Helen Byron, a former sannyasin, sued the Rajneesh Foundation for the return of a $389,000 loan misused to buy an armored Rolls Royce for Osho. After a bitter lawsuit, she won not only the repayment but also $1.25 million in punitive damages, dealing a major financial and reputational blow to the commune. In response, Sheela’s faction, allegedly with Osho’s indirect backing, planned increasingly criminal actions, including murder plots, to protect the Ranch. Internal tensions, betrayals, Sheela’s drug addiction, and secret plans for Osho’s potential escape reveal the rapidly unraveling situation at Rajneeshpuram.
Chapter 34: Big Surprises for Ananya in Rajneeshpuram
This chapter describes how the mother of the author visits her son on the Ranch and the beginning of the author’s love affair with Ava, a young member of Sheela’s group. After Sheela’s sudden departure, Ava initially flees with the group but soon returns, choosing loyalty to Osho. Publicly endorsed by Osho, Ava starts cooperating with the FBI while navigating private pressure to protect the commune’s reputation. For the author, this period becomes a profound teaching about trust, paradox, and the hidden complexities behind the downfall of Rajneeshpuram.
Chapter 35: Confusion Everywhere
This chapter captures the chaos and widespread uncertainty following Sheela’s resignation in September 1985. While rumors, suspicions, and conspiracy theories flourished both inside and outside Rajneeshpuram, the commune’s leadership, rank-and-file members, investigators, and Osho himself all struggled to make sense of the situation. Osho’s public denouncement of Sheela and her team contrasted starkly with his prior support, fueling cognitive dissonance among followers. The chapter outlines Sheela’s reasons for leaving, Osho’s myth-building and strategic manipulations, the shifting roles in the new commune leadership, and the overlapping agendas of multiple government agencies investigating Rajneeshpuram. What seemed like spontaneous collapse was in fact the inevitable result of years of contradictions and orchestrated chaos.
Chapter 36: The Showdown
This chapter documents the explosive six weeks from Sheela’s departure on September 14 to Osho’s arrest at the end of October 1985. Using a day-by-day structure, it interweaves eyewitness reports, discourse excerpts, media coverage, and government investigations. Osho begins publicly accusing Sheela’s group of a wide range of crimes, while at the same time denying any personal involvement. Each day brings new revelations—wiretapping, poisoning attempts, hidden tunnels, and bizarre press conferences where Osho swings between spiritual guidance, authoritarian control, and dark humor. The atmosphere becomes increasingly tense, marked by FBI investigations, internal power shifts, manipulated narratives, and psychological strain on the residents. The chapter reveals how Osho reasserted his authority through contradictory strategies, ultimately deepening the rift between truth and myth in the final days of Rajneeshpuram. The chapter climaxes in the arrest of Osho in Charlotte.
Chapter 37: Attempting an Understanding
This chapter analyzes conflicting accounts and theories about Osho’s involvement in the crimes committed at Rajneeshpuram. It critically examines statements from insiders, journalists, and Osho himself, revealing contradictions between his public denials and private influence. Multiple perspectives are weighed—including testimonies from Ava, Krishna Deva, and Jane Stork—which point to Osho’s deeper role in orchestrating or approving key actions. The chapter also explores four common theories about his escape and eventual arrest, dismissing each as overly simplistic. Instead, the author proposes a view of Osho as a deliberate trickster figure, using myth-making, confusion, and contradiction as teaching tools—leaving behind a complex legacy that defies black-and-white conclusions.
Chapter 38: Sheela & Co on the Run
This chapter picks up the story of Ma Anand Sheela and her core group after their departure from Rajneeshpuram. It describes their return to Europe, beginning with a stop in Zurich at the Rajneesh commune, where they were initially welcomed. But soon they were banned from the communes and found a hotel in the Black Forrest. Sheela sells her story to STERN magazine. They connect with Eva-Maria Mann who had been one of the great donors at the Ranch, and win her support.
The author explores whether Sheela and Savita had hidden financial sources and tracks down some tapes of the secret recordings on the Ranch after the arrest of Sheela, Puja and Shanti B on Oct 28, 1985. The three are arrested, extradited and finally sentenced for various crimes in July 1986.
The rest of the group moves to London, Greece, back to Germany and finally disperses in 1990 when the FBI starts a second wave of arrests. Six of them are sentenced for a crime that never happened.
Chapter 39 – Money for Nothing
This chapter delves into the financial undertakings that surrounded Osho in the final years of the Ranch and shortly thereafter. Although Osho officially disavowed any ownership or financial responsibility, it is clear that he ordered cars, jewelry, and other luxuries for himself. After Sheela’s fall in 1984, a faction led by Hasya and John (the so-called “Hollywood crowd”) attempted to establish a private income stream for Osho through a failed anthracite mining venture in Pennsylvania. At the same time, Sheela sought alternative sources of income through involvement in a promising Australian tech company, ERG, managed by Jay Harman. The effort failed, damaging ERG and contributing to Harman’s personal financial ruin.
Meanwhile, after Osho returned to India in late 1985, the Ranch was left in limbo. Lawsuits followed, including one from a wealthy German disciple, Eva-Maria Mann, who reclaimed $800,000 allegedly taken without consent. Efforts to sell the Ranch dragged on. Initially listed at $44 million, the price dropped dramatically to a mere $4.5 million—less than the original purchase price. Finally the property was developed into a Christian youth camp.
Chapter 40 – Ava and Ananya
This chapter recounts the author’s departure from Rajneeshpuram and a road trip through the American Southwest and Mexico with some German friends. Amid feelings of loss and confusion following the commune’s collapse, Ananya has powerful sunrise MDMA experience that evokes a vivid spiritual vision of Osho. The chapter interweaves themes of inner transformation, disorientation, and resilience as they encounter practical challenges—a car accident, financial hardship, and cultural dislocation. The journey ultimately leads the author to Santa Fe, where a brief stay with Ava, a fellow sannyasin, highlights the emotional toll of the community’s collapse. Ananya’s inner reflections and outward struggles illustrate the beginnings of a new chapter beyond the commune, grounded in honesty, vulnerability, and survival.
Chapter 41 – Osho on the Run
This chapter speculates what might have happened after Osho was arrested in Charlotte. We follow his journey back to Oregon, his release on bail, his last days on the Ranch and his departure from the USA. The chapter recounts how Osho failed to find an appropriate place for the new commune in Kullu Valley in India and the discord between his caretakers. He moves on to Kathmandu, then Crete, Uruguay and Portugal and is expelled everywhere. Finally he returns to India in June 1986 where he immediately starts to talk publicly. The hall in Mumbai is soon too small for the growing audience.
Chapter 42 – Back in the Ashram
In early January 1987, Osho returned to Pune, marking the beginning of “Poona Two.”. Osho resumed discourses in the intimate Chuang Tzu Auditorium and expressed once again that his speaking was not to convey meaning, but to create gaps of silence that offer glimpses of meditation. The new leadership, composed of those who had supported Osho during his world tour, was now in place: Jayesh handled finances; Anando and Neelam became secretaries; and Amrito and Devageet continued as his doctors. The Hollywood group initiated a new mystery school, and therapy programs were rapidly reinstated. Osho himself introduced new meditative therapies, like the three-week “Mystic Rose” process—a sequence of laughing, crying, and silence. These innovations marked a softer, more inwardly focused era, in which even ashram workers were encouraged to participate in morning groups. The chapter closes with the sense of a permanent spiritual settlement taking shape, underscored by enduring new building projects like the reconstruction of Buddha Hall and Chuang Tzu Auditorium.
Chapter 43 – Open and Hidden Secrets
This chapter explores the dualities and secretive structures that emerged in Osho’s commune during his final years. It opens with a humorous yet insightful story from Anando, Osho’s personal secretary. The narrative then shifts to the Inner Circle, Osho’s hand-picked council of 21 disciples who were instructed to make decisions unanimously, though in practice only a few made the final decisions. Many inconsistencies in Osho’s guidance sowed internal division and mistrust after his death. One large donor, Natasha, recounts how she was manipulated into funding a school project that never materialized, illustrating how charisma, spiritual devotion, and opaque financial dealings intersected in the movement. This chapter recounts the colorful and controversial life of Günni—later known as Prem Raiyaj—a Berlin bouncer, boxer, and DJ turned sannyasin, who became a key underground figure during and after the Rajneeshpuram period. Later he smuggled expensive hi-tec equipment into the ashram.
The final section features a heartfelt testimony from Anubuddha, one of Osho’s body workers, who recalls personal moments with Osho when he was directly working on him.
Chapter 44: The Story of Vivek (Nirvano)
This chapter traces the life of Vivek, later known as Nirvano, Osho’s long-time caretaker and deeply devoted disciple. We explore her background, transformation from a bright, sensitive English woman into Osho’s closest companion, and her often-overlooked role in his daily life. It portrays a woman torn between surrender and personal longing, deeply affected by her emotional dependency and Osho’s ambiguous boundaries. We follow her troubles during and after the Oregon years—marked by conflict with Sheela, romantic entanglements, and increasing instability. Despite moments of love and spiritual insight, Nirvano suffered from emotional fragility, misdiagnoses, and heavy medication. Friends recall her intelligence and depth, but also her cries for help that went largely unheard. Her final months in Pune were marked by withdrawal, heartbreak, and mysterious circumstances surrounding her sudden death in 1989.
Chapter 45: Osho’s Death
This chapter chronicles the final year of Osho’s life, marked by deteriorating health, silence, and profound mystery. As his public discourses ended, he introduced the White Robe Brotherhood—silent evening gatherings with his disciples. Following the suicide of his caretaker Nirvano, Osho changed his caretakers, ultimately relying only on Amrito and Jayesh. On January 19, 1990, Osho passed away, reportedly in their presence. His body was swiftly cremated, sparking controversy among Indian disciples used to traditional mourning rites. An eyewitness account by Anubuddha captures the surreal atmosphere of Osho’s last day ending with the intimate ritual of carrying his body to the burning ghats. Speculations about his death linger, but intentional harm is ruled out. The narrator, bedridden with fever at the time, reflects on the profound synchronicities between his own state and Osho’s. The chapter closes with a deeply personal transformation: grief mixed with transcendence, culminating in a musical celebration by Ravi Shankar and Zakir Hussain the night after Osho’s death.
Chapter 46: From Ananya to Mahendra
This chapter describes the author’s interest in another master in North India. He travels by train and encounters inner conflicts which, however, are dissolved, when he meets HWL Poonja in Lucknow.
Chapter 47: An Analysis of Osho’s talks
The author describes the works of Osho which form the basis for his analysis. Language structures with listings of key words and key names are explored. We see how Osho used transformative and manipulative elements in his discourses to create disruption, subversion, identification and direct experience. The use of metaphors, hypnosis and the bending of common concepts add to a powerful cocktail that dominates the mind of the disciples. Finally some inconsistencies in Osho’s talks are decrypted.
Part Three – Conclusions and Perspectives
Chapter 48: The Outcome
Some long term effects of Osho’s work are discussed—placing him within an evolutionary framework.
Chapter 49: The New Man
The author traces the ideology of the new man throughout the ages and it’s function for the cultural evolution of mankind. Some examples from shamanism, Christianity, early socialism, communism, Hinduism and New Age are presented.
Chapter 50: Evolution, Belief Systems, Mind Control and Charismatic Leadership
A description of the functioning of the cultural evolution and its major elements. The importance of charismatic leadership as a catalyst for change is discussed. We see how the installation of belief systems is a necessary component for the functioning of societies and how brainwashing is a part of our daily lives.
Chapter 51: Returning to Chapter 1
We are going back to non-duality and the realization of the futility of duality.
Sample Chapter 8
Samaya and Yidam
In Tantric Buddhism, the word samaya refers to a sacred bond or vow established between the disciple and the guru. It is not just a moral promise but a deep energetic alignment—a subtle contract that shapes the disciple’s entire path. It reflects a commitment to honor not just the person of the teacher, but the transmission, the space of trust, and the inner dimension that opens through the teacher-disciple relationship.
In the modern Tantric tradition, masters like Tulku Urgyen emphasize the sensitivity and seriousness of this bond. Tulku Urgyen once said that breaking samaya—not physically or ritually, but energetically, through mistrust or betrayal—creates deep obstacles on the subtle plane. The breakage is not “punished” from outside, but reverberates in the disciple’s own field, like a string cut in a finely tuned instrument.
“If we break samaya, the result is just like breaking a needle. You can never sew with it again.” — Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche
The reason why breaking the samaya with the guru is a great misfortune is that it entangles the disciple in projection and separation. Instead of resolving karma, it creates new ripples of blame, doubt, and distance from the very clarity they once touched.
Yidam is the Tibetan word for a special deity. Its function is similar to the Christian guardian angel or the Totem and the Nagual in Mesoamerican Shamanism. The contemporary Tibetan teacher Lama Kunga Rinpoche explains the function of the yidam for the yogi in his preface to Drinking the Mountain Stream – Songs of Tibet’s Beloved Saint, Milarepa:[1]
The yogi forms a relationship with one specific deity, known as his ‘personal deity’ (Skt. ishta-devata; Tib. yidam), through practices and visualizations associated with that deity. When the yogi is able to visualize his personal deity to the point where the visualization seems to have a life of its own, and when he is able to see his environment as divine, he then practices the ‘divine pride’ of direct identification of his own body and mind with those of his personal deity.
When the reality of the apparent world has been overshadowed by the intensity of his visualization, the yogi then enters the completion phase where the illusory nature, or voidness, of his visualization can be realized, and with it the voidness of the ordinary, apparent world. This is due to the fact that the apparent world is by nature an illusory ‘visualization’ derived from compulsive attachment to ingrained preconceptions about the nature of things.
In Tibetan Buddhism both Sanskrit terms, Samaya and Yidam are central concepts for the transformative process of the disciple. Both concepts are important tools within the illusory realm—they are, speaking with Milarepa (see chapter 7), objects of knowledge pretending to have real existence, and they are based on certain dualities. Similar concepts are present in a wide range of cultures and play an important role for the success of a person’s quest, regardless of whether the quest is inward or outward bound.
In ancient Indo-European cultures, we find a similarity to the samaya in the concept of the comitatus: a sacred loyalty pact between a warrior and his chieftain. The warrior’s honor was tied not to moral correctness but to the steadfastness of his allegiance. In Germanic and Celtic traditions, this bond was unbreakable, even in the face of death: The core group—usually a small number of men—committed ritual suicide (or was executed) to accompany the lord if he predeceased the group, and each man was buried “armed to the teeth” for battle in the next world.
This devotion beyond death proved to be very successful in an evolutionary sense. The chances of survival and reproduction proved to be higher for groups with a strong bonding. It was adopted by various Asian emperors from the Achaemenids to Chinggis Khan, but also by religious groups and movements—but in a less martial version. The death of the disciple is not a physical death, but the death of the ego illusion.
In the Hebrew Torah we encounter a different but related notion: the berith or covenant between God and his people—a divine contract that forms the foundation of religious life and identity. Though cast in legal and moral terms, it shares the sacred, binding quality of samaya.
In the Ramayana, where we see two contrasting responses to a dharmic dilemma, we are offered a more dynamic solution. When faced with their brother Ravana’s adharma (unrighteousness), Vibhishana and Kumbhakarna make opposite choices—both valid in their own ways.
Vibhishana, seeing that Ravana’s war against Rama was driven by arrogance and desire, chooses to leave his brother and surrender to Rama. In doing so, he breaks the bond of familial loyalty but aligns with his devotion to Krishna. His advice is decisive for the successful slaying of Ravana and he is ultimately rewarded with the kingship of Lanka. And yet, his image remains stained by the act of betraying his brother.
Kumbhakarna, on the other hand, openly tells Ravana he disagrees with the war—but when called to fight with him, he joins without hesitation. He chooses fraternal loyalty over moral correctness and is finally slain by Rama. He is remembered not as a traitor, but as a tragic hero—noble and loyal to the end. In many versions of the Ramayana he attains liberation with his death, in spite of supporting his evil brother.
In the Ramayana the reader is not told whose choice is better. Kumbhakarna honors the samaya he originally made—despite its cost. Vibhishana severs the family ties and chooses the samaya with his master Rama over family bonds— which is also the more favorable practical outcome.
Similar dharmic dilemmas appear often in the history of mankind and in individual lives as well. In our lives we are encountering countless inner and outer conflicts of interest. Consider the contrast between the Scholl siblings and Werner Heisenberg in Nazi Germany:
The Scholl siblings, on the one hand, were moved by conscience, and resisted Hitler’s regime through leaflets and activism. They were the rare example of moral integrity in 1944 Germany and their courage was outstanding—until they were caught, executed, and became martyrs. Their sacrifice, though symbolically powerful, had almost no consequences on the actual machinery of the regime. In fact, their deaths were used by the Nazis to demonstrate their invincibility. Sophie Scholl’s maxim “stand up for what you believe in, even if it means standing alone” may have helped her to accept death, but neither did it help her cause, nor did it have a great evolutionary impact.
On the other hand Heisenberg, Germany’s leading physicist, despised the Nazis privately but never joined the resistance. Instead, he accepted the role of leading the atomic research project—and quietly sabotaged its progress. By delaying the German nuclear program, he prevented the Nazis from acquiring the atomic bomb before the Americans. He was invited to participate in the Stauffenberg revolt, but refused to cooperate—thus sparing himself and his family from prosecution. While the Scholls are honored for their purity, Heisenberg’s contribution remains morally ambiguous and largely uncelebrated. Yet his quiet strategy altered the course of the war. He survived and was able to restart scientific research in post-war Germany. His evolutionary impact was considerable.
The tantric view of samaya allows us to see beyond moral categories. Following the samaya sometimes may turn the disciple against common sense or his moral compass. But going beyond these concepts of the illusory realm is a necessary step for those who attain the perspective of higher truth according to Milarepa.
In this light, both Vibhishana and Kumbhakarna serve dharma. So do Heisenberg and the Scholls—each in their own way. The non-dual approach does not choose sides. It never judges morally but favors looking at the practical outcome.
Samaya and Yidam are valuable psychological tools to take the disciple beyond the limitations of the individual mind. Ideally, the three forces—samaya, yidam, and the master’s work—operate together. However, the dedicated practice of samaya and yidam may ultimately prove more essential than the master’s physical presence. One may attain realization without the master’s interventions, but rarely without these valuable tools.
Both methods are not dependent on the master’s continued physical presence. They can be practiced after the master’s death, with the yidam serving as the ongoing spiritual focus. Many disciples remain connected to their departed teacher through Samaya and Yidam. Others may feel called to a new living master and choose to transfer their Samaya and adopt a new Yidam. In this way, the benefits of the disciple’s practice are preserved and evolve with their path. In contrast, breaking samaya in anger, even for noble reasons, often traps one in cycles of blame and accusation.
To outsiders, both methods may appear delusional or even exploitative, especially if viewed through a purely rational or psychological lens. As such, many teachers advise their disciples not to engage in debates with skeptics or former disciples who have turned against the path. These discussions often lead only to confusion and fragmentation.
In the public arenas of today—particularly in social media—followers and ex-followers of all kinds of teachers and ideologies collide in passionate debates. Many of these disagreements are irreconcilable because the foundational assumptions differ entirely. When viewed through the lens of samaya and yidam, we can better understand the cause of the conflicts.
Typically we can distinguish at least three different perspectives of disciples:
1. Those who still practice their samaya and yidam with a master. For them, he remains a luminous, immaculate being. Criticisms or exposures of his human flaws are not just irrelevant—they are threatening to destroy their relationship with the master who is after all still the central theme of their lives.
2. Those who have moved on but still honor the influence of the former master in their lives. They recognize his human imperfections, yet feel grateful for the transformative power of his work. I see myself as a member of this group—acceptance and understanding are our priorities. We receive, however, a lot of criticism from groups one and three, who are more interested in being right.
3. Those who felt betrayed or deceived by a master or his commune members at some point in their life. Often they turn not only against the master, but against the entire master – disciple framework wherever they spot it. They tend to see the master’s work and life only through a darkened lens of frustration and hatred. Whatever has been seen earlier as a blessing is now perceived as cultish behaviour, power abuse, manipulation, exploitation, or delusion.
Tensions between these groups, particularly between the first and third, are often intense. Each assumes the authority of truth. But seen from the tantric perspective, such conflicts are the outer play of unresolved inner alignments. The deeper invitation remains the same: to return again and again to one’s own samaya, one’s own yidam, and the clarity and truth they reflect.
[1] Wisdom Publications. Boulder, 1995
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